Self-Sabotage...

Self-sabotage... why do we do this? Ugh. 

I just watched this disturbing film, The Stanford Prison Experiment, a simulation study on the psychology of imprisonment (and if ya know me, you know stuff like this really makes me tick).

It's amazing how we as humans can treat one another, especially under perceived power. 

If you haven't been able to tell yet, I LOVE to analyze data (and behavior). I mean, my brain works like a very complicated pocket watch. (Or is it complicated?) 
The older I get, the more I realize my Momma was right. (insert eye roll here)

I get sensitive over things others don't, I get loud and big - which I view as passion, while others may view it as something else - and that we are SO much more alike than we like to think.

Okay, maybe my Momma didn't tell me ALL of those things, but I'd like to think she did... ish... in a way. (keepin' up?)

Observing behavior is seriously so fascinating to me! Lately I've been fascinated with the power of manipulation (and this movie just emphasized my current fascination). 

What is it about controlling others thoughts - hearts OR our emotions - that seems to bring humans so much joy? I mean, sure... I'd love to trip some people, laugh while they were down... but of course, ALWAYS, kindly help them back up. ;)

In the movie, and my own life, I've noticed (and get the feeling) some people like to "kick you when you're down." I then wonder, "why?" Is it a ploy to keep us there? ("Sit down. Stay humble." type of a thing?) Sheesh... I hope not. Control is NOT humility! 

I feel like many of us get to a safe space where we feel vulnerable and let down our guard, then when we feel infiltrated, we go back into our shell where it's safe. #IntrovertsAreAwesome

But on the other end, of the double edge sword, I see people showing vulnerability... SO beautiful... but the second you 'mess up,' they take it from you until you come crawling back, or bend over backwards, to show them they matter?! 

As an analyst. I try to figure out "WHY?" I love the WHY(s) and HOW(s) in life. 

WD says Manipulation is: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage. BUT it also says: to manage or utilize skillfully. (Good or bad? You decide.)

So... is it something we mis-perceive? Is it something someone else is going through and we are making it personal? Or... are they using manipulation in an insidious way?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't manipulate, because I do... but my point is WE ALL DO. We are all so damn similar, just like in the study in the film. We can say we would do this or that, but would we? I don't know. 

What I do know is we don't get to judge someone based on our experiences. Our experiences are, our experiences. (Is that grammatically correct?) 
Yes, it gives us knowledge and insight, but NO, it doesn't mean that is how they would react in a similar situation. #AssumePositiveIntentAlways

Lately, I've been figuring out what my triggers are and what healthy boundaries I get to create for myself. I talk a lot about Women Empowerment, but people who REALLY know me, know I am all about EMPOWERMENT, period. Empowerment of ALL. That is what this life is about (in my eyes). 

I'm also EXTREMELY cautious! Ha I mean... I believe Jesus has my back at all times - so don't get it twisted.

The more I share my theories, I'm realizing SO many believe the same. So why are we all so timid? Why are we so afraid to be ourselves? Judgement? (Only God can judge me.)

I often say I'm a walking contradiction (but aren't we all). The reason I say that is because of that .01%. It is always possible we are wrong. ANYTHING is possible.

So... sometimes time and space is necessary. GIVE IT, allow it. But most of all FORGIVE. Forgive yourself first, then others. It's ok to do you and be you. 

Technology has made life so easy to get lost (or has it?). I think our culture is HYPER aware and we are now being able to "connect the dots" and it is scaring us. But who is doing this? Us, God, the government(s)? I'm not sure. But does it really matter? 

Know your shit. And if ya don't, do your research. JUST KNOW... you will ALWAYS be had. It may take time, but people figure you out. You're sob stories, your skeletons, your weaknesses, your strengths (and by you, I mean our. None of us are an exception to the rule). We think we know but unless we are in their shoes, again, we can NEVER say we know. (Told ya, contradiction.) 

But really the only person we should fear is God (the Universe, whatevs you wanna call it). I believe there is divine order in all things and that organized chaos is better than chaos. Just be careful who is behind that curtain (Wizard of Oz). 

Sometimes it's our friends and family that will hurt us the most. Expect it, don't fear it. Embrace it. Love them from a distance if you need to. Create your healthy boundaries, keep your struggles to yourself, if you need. Or don't. But DO YOU BE YOU, always. 

Know that family DOES matter; but family is whatever it is to you. Words are just words, they only become powerful when we assign certain meanings to them (aka connotations).

I'm a jokester and I like it, but even that gets me in trouble. So ya wanna know what I say? "F*** IT! If you don't like me, good. I still don't give a f***!" JK, I do. (lol) 

YOU matter. I matter. WE all matter. We all are a piece of the puzzle. None of us are more important than the next. We ALL are a piece.

If people think you owe them something, know you don't. We don't owe anyone anything (but respect of course). Yes, we do things because we want things (ignoble vs noble reasons to doing things), but if we're doing it for something in return, like specifics (expectations); then don't do it. Or do. Whatever. The good news is we always get to choose.

(I'm working on my cuss words, Mom. I know sometimes I embarrass you but it feels so good to say that eff word now that we're adults. I use it in all ways though. I keep telling people my strategy, but they don't believe me. Maybe it's the sarcasm. ;)) 

If ya don't get it... #SorryNotSorry

Life is easy. Whatever you are, be a good one. And if good to you means manipulate to get what you want, then so be it. If it means to do your best, then let's do that together. 

Now... let's go make our money, make us some money!

<3