P.R.I.D.E

“Pride: a feeling or deep satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.” WD

I’m not sure how society has turned emotions that are tended to be positive, into a negative. I often ponder… "why??" Then I tell myself to lock it down and does it really matter?! Well, of course it matters. Ha BUT not to the point where we actually have to stress. If we have to worry, feel guilt, or get lost (in a way that isn't working for us) in our emotions, those are the wasted ones.In my bouts of depression, I found myself—every spring—getting down and I wasn’t sure what exactly caused it. Thank The Lord Baby Jesus, I have finally figured it out (I think – I’m a 99% type of girl. There is always a possibility we’ve got it twisted).
I started as a small child trusting my intuition about this life, and lost that trust somewhere into adulthood… but recently, WHOA!  

I believe we are 100% PURE love at birth (animals, too… thus the reason we have so many), then society shaped us into these protected beings (with hard ‘Lemon Head' shells, if you will). 
Protection from what tho, truth? I believe our purpose is to remain in a state of love and security our entire time here, but we don’t figure that out until adulthood. YIKES!

I get that protection and smarts is necessary, but is it? I mean, yes, I think so. (lol) But I also think we are terrified of a lot of things we don’t have to be. Or… life wasn’t intended to be scary. If we trust our intuition, like babies and animals, most times we are just fine.

We may have to learn the hard way, but we do that trying to control… when we try to control we are out of control. Being present is all it takes.

I hear people say “some old folk are bitter, angry,” and so on… but what if they’re just tired? Tired of all the lies media and our society tells? Tired of the gibberish and meaningless arguments? Tired of their family members not getting a long? Tired of people taking this precious day for granted? Like… HELLO?!

Every PRIDE nostalgia kicks in and I am reminded by friends, my journal and good ol' social media, just how much I’ve lost.  And every year, previously, I chose to look at it all from a lens of fear, instead of love. I would ask myself “if this happens every year, what am I doing to create it?” I do believe we have the power to create, but I also believe there is order in all things and that we can’t even begin to fathom what exactly that means yet.

I believe during fall, just like the trees shed their leaves and prep for winter, we do, too. In spring, we are budding into beautiful new beings, figuring out what works for us and what does not. What we get to create and what we get to leave behind… and possibly toying with the idea… “Am I where I want to be?”

However, instead of looking at it from a lens of FEAR, we have the option to look at it from a lens of LOVE. Recognizing that yes, there is much we have lost, but without that loss, we wouldn’t have created room for MORE… AND we wouldn’t have had all those beautiful memories and/or lessons. (There is a reason and a season for everything, that ain't no lie.)

I think about Amber a lot during PRIDE and I really wish she didn’t have to leave us so soon. Then I am reminded, she didn’t. She is here, every year (or day) saying “Get up! Choose life, be happy do you and everything else will follow… TRUST!”

I tend to overwhelm myself with activities and travel every spring #1^stWorldProblems (on top of every day life challenges) and yes, under pressure, I too crumble (even though my brain handles a lot, my heart cannot) but instead of laying on the floor broken, I get to dust my shoulders off, get up, and just keep swimming. (Insert Nemo here)

The good news is… we ALL have that birthright, so make a choice. It really is that easy. Just know projection is real. Take accountability for your piece, sit down and eat that humble pie, say sorry if needed... and move on.

Life IS beautiful and meant to be shared. So love your loved ones hard! Feel the love, be the love, live in gratitude and BE PROUD DAMMIT!

Thank you PRIDE, thank you Iowa, thank you Redwoods, thank you Portland, thank you Seattle/Bainbridge, thank you Boise, thank you Friends and Familia, thank you Kelsie and Miah and finally, thank you for a dogs purpose.

Cheers.

<3