People Are Talking

As many of you know, my ex is getting married (thanks to all of you who let me know about this - NOT)!!! Many of you may think "wow that's soon, it's only been a year," where others may think "awe, poor Brittany" or "that's what she gets for letting her go."

For those of you who think the latter, you are absolutely entitled to your opinion. But for those of you who expressed genuine concern, thank you. I would be lying if I said I didn't care. Of course I will always hold a place in my heart for Ms. Wong, even though things have went very South for us.

However, I do not wish to see it, hear about it, or talk about her - so please respect those wishes. Also, please know Miah has heard the big news and was really upset. I've explained to her why things aren't very cute between Jack and me right now and that Jack still loves her very much. I told her maybe one day they can have a relationship, but until then... it's okay to be sad. She tried holding it in, but shed some tears. So, please be cautious of speaking about it around her as well.

I too, think WOW! But when you know, you know. And what I do know is Jackie and I are exactly where we are supposed to be, there are no accidents. Nonetheless, I choose to process, feel and truly let go before moving on. If she has already done so, I am glad that she has found her happily ever after. No one can tell either one of us what, or when, is right.

I wish I could be happy for her, but given the current circumstance, I can't quite yet. I think it's more the fact of who she is with and the fact that that individual has a lot to do with all the animosity felt/created between us. Yes, I know Jackie is an adult and ultimately makes her own decisions, but I also know her better than most of you and a lot of what has happened has had an impetus behind it.

And no, it has nothing to do with feeling "betrayed" by a friend. A) I was only friends with her because of Jackie and something always felt off - now it makes perfect sense, B) I have no room to judge and C) Any of you in our community that think that could never, or would never, happen to you - you've got another thing coming!

Either way, I am ok and I do wish Jack nothing but the best, always. And one day, these hurt feelings will dissipate... when they do, I will finally be able to be truly happy for her. #YoureWelcomeLadies

Until then, all there is, is time.

(P.S. If this post is offensive to you, feel free to delete me and stop reading my blog.)

Nevertheless...
Like I've said before, amongst all the madness; life is beautiful... and where I choose to sit today, is in gratitude.

April has been great! We celebrated Easter with family and friends, attended Coachella (be Coachealous - thanks Ariane), played with some GIANT balls at the park, received flowers just cause, celebrated Alyse's birth, decided to be a "real lesbian" and joined a softball team, planted a garden, purchased my very first brand new car (yes, I have paid off $22k in debt in the last year, just to create more. And yes, I am bragging! I am VERY proud of that accomplishment. :) At one point, last year, I thought I would be hosed!), and ran my first 5k with baby girl.

I must say, Coachella was quite the experience! We camped for four days and attended so many concerts! D Guetta, ACDC, Kascade, Florence + the Machine, Drake, Hozier, and Alabama Shakes, just to name a few and we met some pretty cool peeps/new friends along the way. It was amazing!

Camping is definitely part of the experience, it was like a big tailgate session. They had a snowball fight, dodgeball, food trucks, silent discos, life-size foosball, farmers market, art, light shows, charging stations, showers, toilets, misters, Ferris Wheels, and lots-o-booze! I'm not sure it's something I could do yearly, but I highly recommend it - at least once in your life.

Next on the list is Austin City Limits!

Happy Spring, ya'll!

<3

Boundaries and What Have You Nots

"When you feel yourself becoming angry, resentful or exhausted... pay attention to where you may have forgotten to set a healthy boundary." Crystal Andrus

Boundaries... hmmm. I find boundaries very intriguing. Many times we set them, yet don't follow them. Or we want them but don't know how to put them in play.

I tend to be someone who takes 147 things on at once. (Super Woman, duh! Or not...)

I forget about the boundaries and how important they are. They assist me in being happy and healthy, so why do I forget about them? Thank God for my sweet Guardian Angel, Rebecca for politely reminding me of just how important boundaries are.

Trust me, it's not cute when I do forget. I recently lost my shit over Rummikub! haha I can laugh about it now, but it was no laughing matter then. Obviously it wasn't about Rummikub, but that was the last straw - arguing over rules for 17 minutes was something else!

When I neglect my boundaries I get sensitive, exhausted and angry. (Grrrrr)

I apologized and let my loved ones know it probably won't be my last ("I'm going to do what everyone thinks I'm going to do..... FREAK OUT") moment, but hopefully it's placed, and mitigated, in a better setting next time. lol

Boundaries for me:

1. Don't bite off more than you can chew.

Stop going, going and going and trying to fit any and all things in small amounts of time. There IS tomorrow and it CAN wait! You are NOT the Energizer Bunny. (Say whaaaat?!)

2. Surround yourself with only those who bring you up.

We all need anchors and I have one of the best, but we also need friends, family - all company really - that inspire, love, and assist us with this life.

3. Kindly let others know when they are breaching your boundaries.

People may not even realize it but they are ENERGY SUCKING the shit out of you! Learn to disconnect and stand by your boundaries.

4. Treat all equally when it comes to your boundaries. 

Be fair. If you don't allow one person to cross your boundary, don't allow another. Example: Friends in the group that fight. Ya'll figure your ish out before either one of you comes back on this side of the fence. Love ya, but aint nobody got time for that!

5. Don't forget you.

Whether others agree with your boundaries or not, that is on them. You do what you need to do to make you happy and healthy. Also, be aware... when getting angry who are we really angry at? Someone else's actions or yourself? I found myself getting angry, only because people don't handle things the way I do; that's not about them and of course about me. I have seen the light!

At the end of the day, the ONLY person you are responsible for is you.

<3