Relationship Blunders

Relationship blunders... Lets be honest, we ALL (bolded and underlined) have them. If you say you do not, then you must be in the beginning phases of your relationship.... And I hate to break it to you - but just wait - it'll happen. #BurstinBubblesAllDay

We're naive to think life, let alone relationships, will be blissful for all time.

My first thought is... Is love real? Like REAL love... is it real? I think so, but is love something we build, create, or grow? Or is love a given? 

I like to think depending on the situation, each love story can be very different. I definitely believe in different levels of love.

My bfs dad once told me he didn't TRULY love his wife until they were married for 15 years. I found that quite interesting and can see why.

The infatuation phase.... Awe. Isn't that the most amazing time EVER?! That time when your partner is literally a DRUG... Something you believe you 100% can't live without! Thinking about them constantly and having those fluttering butterflies nudging your belly.. NON STOP! 

Why does that feeling ever have to fade? Why do the things that drive us crazy about one another turn into a different type of "driving us crazy" as time goes on?

Next is the adjusting phase... Power. Here we start figuring out what the other person's really about. Beginning to panic realizing the relationship is not playing out like The Notebook. 

This also happens to be the time you "shit or get off the pot." Many times people split thinking they can find something better (that Grass is Greener over thataway, mentality) only to realize this will happen again and again. 

We start focusing on flaws instead of all the things that attracted us to them initially. In the past I found myself pulling away here, then causing the other person to become much more needy. (Oops :/)

Continuing on I've found that compromising, being compassionate and growing together is what gets you thru this phase. 

For me, I thrive for growth and it is a MUST HAVE. If I go at it alone, that is where we will drift apart. Compromising here helps us share "the power" (this is a tough one for me.. surprised?).

Up next is the "Make Me Feel Safe" stage. Most of us are always working towards something for one of two reasons: to avoid pain or to obtain pleasure. 

In this phase we need to feel safe. Does our partner truly have our back? Can you fully trust your partner? Can you be vulnerable and let all those walls down (I mean allllllllll of them)? Do you both understand what boundaries exist and accept each other for who you, as well as exactly where you, are? 

If so, here's where "They" (who are They anyways?) say we start feeling that infatuation come and go more often than in the adjusting phase.

The last two phases I would definitely categorize as THE BEST and the hardest to obtain! The commitment and bliss stages. 

This is when we fully surrender (is it 15 years later?) and consciously choose that person regardless of differences, temptation, and knowing all that we know about our partner. Living blissfully (that happily ever after), but understanding the need for growing and nurturing the relationship is just as important as the first day.

Sheesh.. that all seems like a lot of work! But, relationships really are a full-time job. Sometimes sacrificial, or so it feels like it, but aren't the things worth it, always the hardest work?

I know many of you may think Jack and I have this "fairy tale" relationship, that "happily ever after." 

Whelp, you're right... we do! *Wink*
Unfortunately, "happily ever after" is sometimes "crappily ever after!" Ha 

Don't get me wrong, I am so super thankful and grateful for my relationship, struggles, and head strong lifelong lady friend (aka the gf); but yes, we have our relationship blunders, too. 

I would say we are still in the adjusting phase. Both being strong, independent, head strong, women - giving up that power has been rough. 

Lately we've both been under a lot of stress and this power struggle has been accentuating itself a bit more. All healthy stress: baby (ps that beezy AF showed her ugly little face, again! :( Still, we're not losing hope :)), the business, soccer, work, parties, surgery, etc. etc. but stress nonetheless, these times are the real tests. 

I think we've found a good middle ground and realize what is important. At the end of the day, we have come so far and learned so much and choose to keep on truckin'.

I truly believe the following:

* Being in a relationship is a choice... 

* The grass is NOT greener on the other side... 

* Opportunity will knock once, but temptation will bang forever!... and 

* Choose the person who bugs you the least, because EVERYONE will bug you!

I thought this was a nice reminder, and if you're in the adjusting phase... know you are NOT alone. And most importantly, your relationship is normal. <3