Awkward Moments

Everybody loves those awkward moments! Tell me you haven't experienced one, or more of these, and I'll show you a liar. ;)

Like that awkward moment when your 16 year old nephew walks in and catches your girlfriend in her bra. 

Or... That awkward moment when you tell people you're planning on getting pregnant, then have to explain your partner is a girl. Then they proceed to ask "how does that work?" Um.....???

Or... That awkward moment when you step into an elevator, pass gas, and right as the doors are closing someone stops the doors and you are the only one in the elevator. (Ewe!) 

Or...That awkward moment when you fall out of the shuttle at work, in a skirt - on all fours - and you still have four other people waiting to exit. 

Or... That awkward moment when you're in the bathroom at work and the person in the next stall phone rings, you think to yourself "no way they'll answer that," only to be proven wrong, with shock and awe; yes, yes they will and did!

Or... That awkward moment when you take your new girlfriend to meet the family and your nephews start calling her "Aunt Jack" right away... (Cuties!)

Or... That awkward moment when you are passing gas walking up the stairs, you walk back down to air it out, then as your walking back up the stairs your gf puts you on blast an asks "what are you doing?" in a house full if people. (Ha)

Or... That awkward moment you crack a joke about a parapallegic and your best friend gives you this look of disappointment and says "hey, don't forget my dad is in a wheel chair!" Then laughs and says "jk, it's ok." (But her dad really is in a wheelchair. :/) 

Or... That awkward moment when someone eats shit, makes the most funniest face - and action on the way down - then freezes lying face down.... You hold back the chuckle, ask If they're ok and once they confirm, you ask if it's ok to laugh now. (What face do you make?)

Or...That awkward moment when you're first dating someone, sleep over and have to use the restroom first thing... Thinking you're just going number one, then BAM! a loud toot comes out instead and you want to DIE! Thinking if you just stay in the bathroom a little longer, they'll forget it ever happened. (Oops)

Or... That awkward moment when you're stuck in traffic and end up in the middle of the intersection as the light turns red. Blocking ALL from going anywhere, including you who has nowhere to go. (It seems so silly, but I HATE when that happens!)

Or... That awkward moment when you're sleeping, fart SO loud you wake yourself up, and pray to God the person next to you didn't hear. (Oh wait, they're awake)

Or... That awkward moment when your friends do exactly what they swore up, down, left, right, back and forth they would NEVER! #NeverSayNever

Or... that awkward moment when your grown ass friend needs to go to the bathroom (number 2), but is terrified of going in public toilets, so you have to leave and take her home just to poop. 

Or... that awkward moment you walk into the bathroom and all stalls are taken. You wait patiently only to realize you are in the midst of a poop war (people taking a shit but too embarrassed to be the first to come out, so they wait for one another to exit, but nobody moves). 

WE CAN SEE YOU!!!

Or... That awkward moment you enter a bathroom with your friend, she goes into the stall and while you're checking yourself out in the mirror, she has EXPLOSIVE diarrhea!!! 

You say "Jeez, take it easy in there" and it's SILENT. You look back and notice two sets of feet. 

It wasn't my friend. 

You race out of the bathroom and when she comes to find you she proceeds to tell how that was the most awkward hand washing sesh she has ever experienced! #SorryNotSorry

Or... That awkward moment you enter the Girls restroom, use the restroom, then while you're washing your hands a man walks in. He looks at you funny and you say "wrong bathroom, dude! Ha" He walks out and 2 seconds later walks back in and says "Um... You're in the wrong bathroom." (Moted!)

Or... That awkward moment you volunteer to drive to a work lunch and every one gets in, you turn the car on, and your bumping Eazy-E "Real Mother F'n G's!" You look around and what do you have before you? The most priceless faces you ever did see! #Westside

Or... That awkward moment you post something on FB and someone takes it personally, being the first to comment. (Guilty much?)

Or... That awkward moment when you're sitting in the sauna and a big hairy man comes in, lays down and starts doing side leg lifts. Continuing to make eye contact with you while grunting. (Phff 🙊)

Or... that awkward moment people start talking about taking a shit and you know your friend cringes re any topic related to pooping, you look over and realize the look on her face is one of constipation. #LetItOutAlready

Or... that awkward moment you go into a Porta-potty at a Utah game while tailgating, use the restroom, walk out and realize - because you were a little tipsy and your hovering skills are a bit off - you peed all over the bottom of your pants.

Or... that awkward moment, after a long night of drinking, you wake up to your gf stepping in a puddle of pee. Then she proceeds to tell you she woke up to you squating on the side of the bed (OMG!) You clean it up, while your gf pokes fun at you the ENTIRE time, then make the bed only to find HER sopping wet sweats!! #OhHellNo #ThatBitch! 

Welp, I know there's a lot more but hopefully you can relate to at least one f these. Ha 

Thanks to all of you whom have contributed to my awkward moments... they keep us humble. <3