Coming and Going...

Dang this year is flying and June and July haven't been any different.
 

1st off, I want to express how incredibly proud of Miah I am! She received straight A's all year long... 7th grade was good to her.

June and July bring many festivities each year. We had the PRIDE Festival, REAL Games, Hiking Adventures, The Surf Fest, House Warming Parties, Chicago, Soccer Tournaments and Clinics, Day of Birth celebrations, The Ogden Valley Rodeo and those good old (now I view as extremely dangerous) Derby's!

It's so amazing watching my family and friends flourish; building new homes setting the foundation for their families.

One of our best friends is moving to Missouri for another possible growth opportunity and all of us have been struggling trying to imagine our Utah lives without her. Thank goodness for technology. It's always crazy thinking about the many routes life takes us. People who join in on our lives and those who leave.

Unfortunately, this has been a year of loss for me. First the Job, then our bestie and finally our pup pup, Barley.  Of course the only way to make it through is to focus on the good.

I've been busy looking for what we like to call a J.O.B. It's been stressful, not going to lie. Even tho I've been blessed to receive a severance, allowing me to take the time off and finish my Life Coaching certificate, stressful nonetheless.

I wake up daily saying "Use me, God. Use me." However, it's been hard trying to stay out of falling into a funk. After 13 years of a career and starting over I am mind boggled at what I should be doing. I know Life Coaching will be an ongoing thing, but I still get to look for a JOB... you know, for our security that is necessary.

I've applied many places, but still no luck. I allowed a nice four month break, but now it's time to get back to it. Having to do everything electronically these days, it takes quite some time applying. Adjusting your resume to each posting, writing a cover letter, then answering the same damn questions click after click. Then when you get a rejection letter, knowing no person was ever even able to view you resume. (Sheesh) Is this what it's all come down to, automatic everything?! YEP!

It's hard not to think, "seriously, I'm a great employee but oh how I'd love NOT to go back to work and just jump into the Life Coaching thing." Then fear sets in and I think "even tho you have time you need to have stability while building up Life Coaching opportunities." I'd love to assist people in whatever way I can, whether its support with goal planning, mediation, youth focused, women empowerment or even just our everyday, 9-5, J.O.B.

Side note** If your reading this and have recently lost a job, know you're not alone in the ups and downs you experience. It is extremely scary, yet also exciting knowing we have been set free to open up other possibilities. It's ok to talk yourself up daily, assisting you with not falling into a funk, and reminding yourself you can do it! Try and listen to know which way is for you, let your family and friends know you're looking and reach out to recruiters. Whatever lies ahead is where we're supposed to be. Quiet down, listen and you'll know which fork to take. Know you are worthy, able and loved. And most of all that you WILL make it.

Our sweet boy, Barley, passed away July 15, 2016. It was heart breaking seeing him go, but the good news is he lived a great life up until the last day. That Monday he stopped eating. He'd eat here and there but it was hard to know if he was just being picky (he hated the raw food after a while) or if he didn't feel well. Well, this time he didn't feel well.

Thursday night he was up and down and into Friday morning, more of the same. I don't know if any of you have witnessed a dog's body shutting down but it is extremely heart breaking. He continued to be up and down all morning, he just couldn't get comfortable. About 1030 am he started missing steps and shortly thereafter started running into walls. This is when we knew it was time.

Making that decision is so hard. You don't know if it's actually just a bad day or is it time. We called the Vet and he headed over. He took about two hours, so in that time all we could do was follow Bar around and make sure he didn't hurt himself. Miah was playing in a tournament that day but was able to come by the house and say goodbye. It was sooo sad.

Eventually Barley wouldn't even recognize our calls, he would climb on the couch or put his head in a corner and just pant. He finally found a spot in the backyard, shaded, and laid down. He was panting frantically. The Vet finally arrived and we pulled him out of the corner. We laid him by us and said our goodbyes. The vet gave him the meds to calm him down, leading him to normal breath, then the final dose. Barley was fighting it, he laid there so peacefully and we just loved on him. The vet had to end up giving him 5 straight shots to the heart before he finally went. (Knife straight to the heart!) 

Poor Kels had to dig a hole 4ft x 3ft x 3ft and he now lays peacefully under his favorite bush in our back yard. It was different. we laid him in the hole with his blanket and pig and our friend Vanessa said a cute little prayer.

Things haven't been the same around here since then, but thankfully I get to see him almost everyday in my mediations.

Loss is something else. But definitely a part of life. Many times we learn so much and many times we are still in awe as to why.

Until we meet again, rest in peace, big dude.

 

<3